Friday, August 25, 2006

Music

Note: This has to do with my StumbleUpon blog, and the new SU music player recently developed. It's had some far-reaching effects for me.

Music player -

This represents, for me, a turn about. For many, many years, I only listened to music occasionally, and when it wouldn't distract me. Background music was ok (aka elevator music).

I'm musically inclined, although little real training outside of several years of piano lessons. But I've sung (almost always in choirs and choruses) much of my life, beginning at around age 10.

And here's the sad part: It was always religious music, my family being strict Calvinists. Never, ever, was any other music played or allowed in our house outside of a very occasional classical piece; the one exception was that my dad liked Mitch Miller, which was harmless in any sense of the word.

I knew no other reality. This included not only an aversion of all "worldly" music, but a negative judgment toward anything non-religious. All popular music was judged trivial or worse. You can imagine what was said in my home and social circles about Elvis when he first came on the scene. Yet I listed to it in my car radio, once outside of the house. But the religious repression was so great that I could never remember any words to the songs; only the music. But I did know the words to hundreds of religious songs. I still do.

With my wake-up call some 25 years ago (divorce, father's death, and my own alcohol abuse) came a gradual, but very distinct, breaking free of all this. Not that I rejected it all and did a sudden 180 degree turn around, but just slowly and very deliberately I began to think for myself. I've never stopped and continue to this day. While this journey hasn't been a quick one, I've covered a lot of ground.

It's been quite an adventure, as I see it now. But along the way, I felt quite alone and uncertain often times. There was no one to tell me or guide the way; it was only my own thoughts and feelings.

Things come together at certain times in our lives. While I've been an active blogger, mainly politics, for a while now, I never had any sense of community, outside a couple of other bloggers. That changed once I discovered SU. Not only is there a real sense of community here, I have the opportunity to observe their interests and thoughts.

When Jonas developed the SU music player recently, I noted it with mild interest. Checking out the SU player at Mamaa's (Aunolam) blog, I saw she had a Finnish folk song, which I find almost addictive. It's a light-hearted thing, but the melody is one that keeps repeating in my mind. At about the same time, I got the idea to maybe try to set up the player for myself, with some songs I like. Not the latest trendy stuff, but songs that have stayed with me over time. The content of this SU player is, of necessity, limited, and then only to what I can find on the internet in MP3 format.

But this is another step in my adventures in life. Step for step, I've been coming "home". And music is a part of that for me.

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